Response… unknown

I am not sure how to respond to that.

“How are you feeling?”

“Was it bad?”

I am not sure how to respond to that.

I recently just finished a COVID quarantine. I tested positive for COVID. I always knew how important family was, but was quickly reminded. The porch was our transport portal of fresh meals and Mucinex.

When I look at all the cases of COVID, I truly am blessed. My symptoms were minor. But that did not minimize the experience. My anxiety was through the roof. I was not sure if things were going to get worse. I heard the stories. My thoughts were all over- am I going to get a blood clot? Is it going to go downhill? Can I breathe OK right now? The worse part was the COVID brain fog. The computer screen was sort of glitchy-looking when I looked at it. I could not concentrate. It was a an awful feeling, knowing this virus was creeping around my brain.

So I am grateful beyond belief for the minor case I had. But the experience was still real. The anxiety was still real. My current mantra is – “I am strong, I am healthy, I am healing.” I breathe it in and out during my yoga practice. I am not pushing myself yet phsyically beyond at-home yoga and barre. My mantra is pushing out the thoughts of a relapse or questions why my arm is tingling or is my chest getting tight. I still do not have my taste and my smell is muted. But I am healing.

So when someone asks, “Was it bad?” No… I am still alive, I could breathe. But it scared me. I did not feel good. I do not want to sound dramatic. But I would not want to do this again. And there are still other strands. And to know that this virus goes in one’s brain- that is what affects the taste and smell. That relapse happens because this virus goes into the brain. And then my brain starts think and worry all over again.

So ultimately, I don’t know how to respond to that.

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